You Can't Always Go At Full Speed
A personal reflection on burnout, boundaries, and learning to rest, from a herbalist who's lived it, not just studied it.
Who would have thought being a high achiever, a driven person who wants to help everyone she meets, could take such a toll on her own body? Surely not this girl. But here we are.
Over the years, running at full speed, and often past it, has slowly taken its toll. Not overnight, but bit by bit, until it finally caught up with me. One of the strange benefits of working for myself is that only the people who love me see the real struggle. Most days, I could drag myself through the bare minimum, and no one else would know.
I want to change that. And I want to help you avoid it, if I can.
These days, I don't crash as hard or as often. It's taken better energy management, being honest about which clients and projects are actually right for me, and learning to say no even when I'd rather not. I've had to cancel things, delay things, take a nap in the middle of a workday when my body demanded it.
Even that isn't foolproof. Recently, out of nowhere, came three days of exhausting fatigue, barely useful for anything. Feeling better today, I have to resist the urge to cram three days of undone work and chores into one. The laundry and the emails will wait.
This isn't new for me; it's been a quiet struggle for a long while, one I haven't shared with many people. Some days, weeks, even months are better than others, and I've learned to lean on the support around me for that.
I'm not alone in this, and I know it. Some of the very things I've struggled with, and still do on certain days, are the same things that bring women to me for consultations and coaching. The exhaustion that won't quit no matter how much sleep you get. The guilt that creeps in the moment you slow down. The quiet fear that resting means falling behind. I don't sit across from a client as someone who has it all figured out. I sit there as someone still practicing (and occasionally missing the mark), walking alongside them rather than looking down from some place I've already arrived.
My honesty here isn't to alarm you; it's to remind you to listen to your body. We can't change the past, but we can change today, and today changes tomorrow. Some of what's helped me might help you too. These aren't just for you, friend; they're reminders I still need myself:
Don't push yourself to a breaking point.
Don't ignore the signs of stress.
Don't say yes when you mean no because you're afraid of disappointing someone.
Don't work with demanding or abusive clients or employers. You deserve better.
Don't let anyone tell you to "just try harder" when you're exhausted.
Don't volunteer for everything out of guilt.
Don't buy into the hustle culture you see online, most of it isn't real anyway.
Leave time for fun and hobbies.
Leave space in your calendar for doing nothing at all.
Tell your inner perfectionist to take some time off, maybe permanently.
Take an actual lunch, away from your desk. With a friend, if you can.
Go outside. Let the sun and fresh air do what they do.
Lay in the grass and watch the clouds for a while.
Hug a tree. And sit under one for a while.
Ask for help, and let yourself receive it, even when it's not done exactly your way. Does it really matter how the towels are folded?
And for goodness sake, when you're tired, leave the dishes dirty or the laundry unfolded, and take a nap instead, before tiredness turns into exhaustion.
Sometimes our soul needs quiet, and our bodies get a little insistent about it. I think that's when things get forced to a stop, and we're made to rest, whether it's convenient or not. But neither is burnout.
If any of this sounds familiar, I'd love to talk.
These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. Not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
